We're all going to the same place, in the same plane, in assigned seats. Why exactly do you need to be on the plane first? Oh, you're carting the largest carry-on bag ever and want to guarantee space for it. It's called gate check. They put it under the plane and then take it off so you get it when you walk off.
Sit down and wait for your row to be announced. Stop crowding the boarding area, making me cart my wheely carry-on over your feet, muttering "douchebags" silently to myself as I try to board when called.
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